I have a drink coaster in my office that I look at every day that features a quote from author Anais Nin: “Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one’s courage.”

One of America’s top coaches and influencers Brendon Burchard has researched in his book “High Performance Habits” that “underlying all of the six high-performance habits is confidence. Increase that, and all the other scores increase.”

Confidence is a big deal in leadership. No one wants to follow a non-confident leader. And if you want executive presence, confidence is from which it springs.

What is confidence? A belief in your own abilities, a belief or self-assurance in your ability to succeed.

To get more confidence, let’s review actions you can take each week.

Believe in yourself

This is not just a “woo-woo” phrase. You really do become on the outside what you believe on the inside. You are the sum total of your most dominant thoughts. Those thoughts – your self-talk – are driving deep grooves in your brain – positively or negatively – so it’s crucial to clean them up and point them in a more confident direction.

What’s your power to draw from? A strong core. Just like you need to do planks and crunches to improve your physical core strength, you need to take some time to re-acquaint yourself with yourself, most likely in a personal retreat, and strengthen your mental/emotional core.

Re-discover:

• Your noble purpose or personal mission statement: why you do what you do.
• Your core values: how you do what you do.
• Your strengths: define them through the Clifton Strengths Finder or Working Genius assessments.
• Your experience thus far: all the wins you can celebrate in your leadership
• Your resourcefulness to figure things out as this leads to an optimistic mindset.
• Your pure motive in this situation.

“Once we believe in ourselves, we can risk curiosity, wonder, spontaneous delight, or any experience that reveals the human spirit,” said e.e. Cummings, an American poet

Yeah, it takes work to train your brain. Over time, it will become more your default.

Negativity is the wet blanket that snuffs out courage.

And, if you don’t do it for yourself, do it for others who are watching you. It’s harder to believe in others when you choose to not believe in yourself. Your self-talks affects those you love and those you work with.

Expand your network

First, believe in yourself. Then, expand your network.

Develop and strengthen more of your relationships. A good rule of thumb is to always work with the construction gang and not the wrecking crew. Demo day is fun on those home improvement shows and often it can save you money on your contractor. But in life and business, the wrecking crew are the gossips, the Eeyores, the nay-sayers, the can’t-do-it people.

You don’t have time for that and thus you must put boundaries around those folks in your life.

Instead, you can choose to hang with those:

• Doing what people said couldn’t be done – the initiators of the world.
• Who are always growing, personally and professionally.
• Trying something new and taking on new challenges.
• Stepping up when others step back – showing courage.

The benefit to you: They are courageous when you are not, or they speak courage (“en-courage”) to you when you need it most.

Scottish author George MacDonald said: “Nothing makes one feel so strong as a call for help.”  Do you read that and go, “Wait, what?” 

Almost every client I have has said that if they ask for help, they might be viewed as weak or incompetent, or someone to be passed up next time.

It’s counterintuitive, though. How many times have you grown in your career or life when someone you reached out to for mentoring got you to the next level by their advice or the doors they opened for you?

Here’s the magic: I have found it amazing that as soon as you start telling people what you want to do, things start emerging in your path to make it happen.

According to author of “Act Like a Leader, Think Like a Leader,” Herminia Ibarra said we need three kinds of networks:

• Operational (internal: at work) – to manage today’s work; to get things done efficiently.
• Personal (external: away from work) – to grow toward your life vision, to enjoy life and develop yourself.
• Strategic (both internal and external: with medium- to long-term focus) – to lead well; to understand your context; to generate ideas and support for them.

Glean as much as you can from everyone around you. The way you do that is to not be passive, but intentional. Ask targeted questions of mentors and journal your takeaways.

First, believe in yourself. Then expand your network.

Take a baby step, open your wings and go all-in.

Beyond the comfort zone

We must break down big goals and dreams into attainable stretches. You stretch – not enough to pull a muscle – but outside your comfort zone. It’s getting those confidence muscles ready to push beyond.

This could look like:

• Speak up for once at a meeting where you’ve previously been silent or intimidated.
• Volunteer to take a role that you don’t fully feel you are equipped to do (but you know you’ll be a quick learner).
• Name the side-business you’d like to start and brainstorm the elements in a business plan.
• Hire a coach or personal trainer or therapist to stretch your mind to the possibilities.

Here’s what I do know, best said by Indian revolutionary Mahatma Gandhi: “You may never know what results come from your action. But if you do nothing, there will be no result.” 

Inaction is a decision, usually not one we’re proud of later. Yeah, that’s when we look back a year or five and see we haven’t grown. We haven’t accomplished anything on our bucket list. We didn’t take action. However, action blasts away fear.

Courage or comfort?

Don’t always play it safe. Playing it safe will never be fulfilling. There are two kinds of people in the world: those who want to make things happen and those who don’t want to make mistakes. On a continuum, where are you?

You must do the things that scare you to build confidence. You will cultivate confidence through risk, failure and changing how you think. The choice is courage or comfort–you can’t have both.

So, we are building courage momentum. A 90-year-old looked back on his life, and when asked his best advice for living well, he said, “When in doubt, just take the next step.” It’s good advice.

A quick reality pause: Expect resistance – and push through it. As soon as you set a courageous goal, resistance comes calling. We tend to give up too easily.

Instead, absorb the hit and keep going­– like the X-Man Wolverine who heals almost as fast as he’s getting pummeled.

Fear is part of that resistance. Being fearless is less about operating with no fear and more about seeing the fear – confronting the fear – and stepping forth in a grand effort to overcome.

“Hi, fear, I see you. I know you’re along for the ride, but you can’t have the steering wheel. Onward!”

Baby step, open your wings, and then, go all-in.

Best example: Cortes in 1519 said (and then did), “Burn the boats,” leaving his men no chicken-exit to return home.

“All-in” means not hedging, not leaving yourself an easy out and not thinking, “It’s OK to cancel.”

Titus Livius, Roman historian, said: “In difficult situations, when hope seems feeble, the boldest plans are safest.”

Sounds counterintuitive. But which organizations thrived throughout the pandemic. Who reinvented with new vigor?

The only way you can rise to meet challenges effectively is to expect to.

Finally, your courage and confidence have benefits that ripple out to others. Make it easier for others around you to take courage.

By nudging those around you to pilot something, or run with their plan, and by creating a climate of grace for errors, you embolden others to take their baby-step risks. Now you are in their network, and they are drawing off your courage.

Whatever you are thinking of creating or accomplishing, be a part of the solution. Take courage, expand your leadership and grow forward.

Paul D. Casey lives in the Tri-Cities and is the owner of Growing Forward Services, which aims to equip and coach leaders and teams to spark breakthrough success. Casey has authored five books and hosts Leader-Launcher.com for emerging leaders each month. Online at growingforwardservices.net.